The Gift of Receiving

The idea of receiving a gift seems almost unnatural. I have always told family and friends, that it isn't necessary, most occasions are off limit to giving me a gift. Their company is always more than enough.
Last night a friend came over for dinner and brought me a box of chocolates. I believe it was my first box of chocolates wrapped beautifully for Valentines, even in January, and I was taken aback. Design is my second nature and this box was uniquely wrapped with ribbons, stickers and even a tote bag, my heart fluttered yet there was an unknown, a lack of certainty, control.
Perhaps it was more a lesson than anything, in my humbleness to never need anything I was losing out of the ability to receive. To allow others to give. Many of us love to see our friends and family members light up when we've bought them something. Knowing it was exactly what they wanted, or knowing it was unexpected and they truly needed a boost that very day. While feeing joyous, I immediately sensed a hollowness in my years of not being able to receive. I had unknowingly rejected, and undervalued people when I had refused gifts, for decades. I sensed my husband looking over my way as I tucked the gift away smiling. He had tried so many times to give me something of his desires, and I had insisted that I didn't need him spending hard earned money on me, how I had failed to see his love language and his yearning to do something special for me. It didn't strike me until last night that in all the gifts I'd given, if people had forbidden me, I would have been devastated. I was robbing people of the exact sensation I loved in giving.

The selfishness of my independence, is as far away from Christ wishes for us to be in relations with others. My need to be in control, to think less of others than myself and not sanction myself to be vulnerable to someone else, that cared enough to share a gift with me, was sinful.
The gift was truly not as important as the gesture that was acted upon. Relationships deepen when we receive without judgement, and blithering excuses, that destroy joy. Sounds odd yet it took us time to eventually open the box and savor every morsel of salted caramel cashews drenched in dark chocolate.

The lesson she taught me was invaluable, there is a maturity, humility and appreciation in receiving. I needed to linger in that moment and allow the giver to cherish their moments too. The giver receives as much benefit from the gift as the receiver, an internal bliss. From this day forth my efforts will commence to receive graciously.

Our society is funny, when I compliment colleagues, women often tell me that the item is old, cheap or not in fashion. I'm always struck at how others struggle with compliments as much as I do. Perhaps in our desperation to be independent, which is truly a North American thing, we are distancing ourselves from one another's blessings.

When the rare and unexpected happens leap for joy and relish in the moment. I've read that euphoric sensation we feel does wonders for our entire body, from blood, to nerves, to organs. It springs forth juices of wellness that satiates, and coats the body in dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin and endorphins warding off illness while proving delicious nourishment for our cells. How often have you every heard of anyone practising that butterfly feeling we get. It usually last 5-10 seconds yet with practise you can stretch it out to minutes. The next time someone asks if you've exercising, tell them your bringing forth happiness.

“Gracious acceptance is an art - an art which most never bother to cultivate. We think that we have to learn how to give, but we forget about accepting things, which can be much harder than giving.... Accepting another person's gift is allowing him to express his feelings for you.” 
― Alexander McCall Smith, Love Over Scotland